CONFESSION OF A STRURGGLING JEWELRY DESIGNER
Hello my Diva’s & those who love us!
It has been sometime since I wrote to you. I would like to share with you the reason(s) for this.
I have been STRUGGLING! With what you might ask….. With myself!
Yep, I have been struggling with myself. My self-image has been under scrutiny…by ME!
It caused me to talk and think negatively about myself. I didn’t realize how it had been affecting me or how long it had been going on. It was a spiraling situation that I could not see my way out of. What was even more difficult is that I was the problem!
As we women get older we see a different version of ourselves that does not line up with the women we think of ourselves or that is now looking at us in the mirror. Things that we could control or do like, lose weight with a blink of an eye, are no longer possible because of circumstances that are beyond our control.
I found myself not liking the image that I was seeing. I was finding that I did not like myself. I wondered, “how could or would anyone listen to me when I am not even listening to me”! Others (friends & family) were making changes in their lives and seeing the results, while all I could see was more of me….you get the picture.
Then my sister and several of my friends told me of a process that helped them. I saw their progress and success and I wanted it too. So I did the research and decided that I would try what they were doing.
IT WORKED! I started losing weight!
It changed my perspective of myself. I changed my hair style. I could wear clothes that I had been holding onto. I bought a pair of pants over a year ago that I could not wear! Don’t look at me that way, you have done it too! One morning I was looking for something to wear and I came across those pants. I looked at them and wondered if I was any closer to being able to put them on. When I bought them I took them home to try them on (nope I do not try on clothes in the store) and they would not come up over ALL of my behind! I hung them up and vowed to “get into them”.
Well, that morning I just wanted to know how much more I needed to lose in order to wear them. I pulled them up slowly, just testing the waters. They came up over my thighs and started coming up over my behind! They came ALL THE WAY UP! I danced the dance of TRIUMPH! I wore those pants that day and I WAS CUTE! I kept getting compliments of how good I was looking!
Then someone asked the question, “Eyvonne, what are you doing to lose the weight”? I told them. Some listened and some didn’t. At first I was a little put back by those who didn’t try it, but then I realized, I could have been them! I was them! I was told of numerous ways people had lost weight in the past and did not try any of the ways offered and continued to suffer with my self-esteem.
I realize we all have to be in a place where we have hit the bottom! I had hit the bottom when I tried something different. I expected it to work but not as well as it has.
My self-esteem has grown. It may not be how it was when I was 25, 35 or even 45 but it is BACK BABY!
So Divas, I want to say, “I apologize” What for you say? For starting something and then just stopping in the middle; for abandoning you when I was just introducing myself to you; for giving you the incorrect perception of me.
I AM NOT A QUITER! I AM A WARRIOR DIVA!
So I am BACK and I will be seeing you VERY SOON!
If you want to know what I did, you will have to wait a bit for that…
I want you to come back and see me (wink)
Not only did I stop the blog, I cooled to a very slow pace of designing jewelry. I am back in the studio and I have designs a brewing for y’all!
Stay Safe & Healthy, I APPRECIATE YOU ALL!
WARRIOR DIVA OUT! (My Alter Ego)